I come from a culture that, in many ways, glorifies the dead more than it celebrates the living. This is evident in the grandeur that surrounds most funerals — elaborate ceremonies, expensive outfits, extravagant souvenirs, and sometimes even subtle competition among family members who barely cared for the deceased while they were alive. Sadly, more often than not, people go into debt just to please society and people that won’t contribute a dime toward laying their loved one to rest.
But I’ve always believed in something different: Give people their flowers while they are still on this side of heaven, where they can smell them, feel them, and appreciate them.
Not too long ago, we traveled to celebrate a dear friend’s golden birthday — his 50th. The celebration was originally planned for January, but Mother Nature had other ideas, pushing it to April. Because of scheduling conflicts, some of the original group couldn’t make the new date. Still, the turnout was remarkable. People came from all over North America, Europe, and Ghana to honor this one fine gentleman.
Some of the guests I had met before, others, I did not know from Adam. Yet, at the end of four days, I felt as though I had become a part of something new — a diverse, layered, unbreakable family. I forged relationships I am truly grateful for.
But this piece is not about the friendships formed or rekindled.
It is about the man we gathered to celebrate.
He chose a destination that required real commitment — you had to genuinely love him to show up. And show up we did. There were themed nights we followed to the letter, laughter that echoed into the early hours, and memories made in every corner of that place. By the time we were leaving, even the resort staff knew our tribe.
But what moved me most were the tributes — from those who couldn’t attend and from a few who were present. I watched a grown man cry… well, almost cry.
I’ve always known this gentleman to be a go‑getter, but hearing the stories of what he had done for others revealed a depth of unmatched selflessness I hadn’t fully seen. He never boasted. You wouldn’t know, just from chatting with him, that he had helped people complete their education, lifted others from financial rock bottom, cared for those who had no one else, and donated quietly to countless causes.
To whom much is given, much is expected —he lives that truth.
He sat there listening to how his widow’s mite had changed lives, and he teared up. Maybe it was fulfillment. Maybe gratitude. But I believe it was something deeper:
He was receiving his flowers — right then and there.
Many of us are used to hearing such tributes only when we bid a person farewell. But when a person is still here, still breathing, still able to hear what they mean to others… it moves them in a way nothing else can.
So today, as I celebrate my friend and my own birthday, I want to encourage you:
Give someone their flowers while they’re still here to appreciate them.
Don’t wait until they’re gone to say the things you’ve carried in your heart.
Don’t save your gratitude for a eulogy.
Don’t postpone love, appreciation, or honor.
Live in the now.
Celebrate people now.
Because tomorrow is never promised — and the people you cherish deserve to experience your love in real time.
May we learn to place our flowers in the hands of the living, not at the feet of a memory.
25 Responses
Indeed, people must receive their flowers while’s alive than in death! Happy Birthday sis🥰
Beautifully written. We should never wait for a funeral to say what a person means to us. Give people their flowers while they can still smell them, hear the words, and feel the love. Thank you for this powerful reminder.
Happy Birthday, Dr June and may your year be filled with the same kindness and generosity you so beautifully celebrate.
Mucho love
Absolutely true. We need to celebrate the living here and now not when they cannot see, hear or feel what their loved ones and others feel and think about them. I couldn’t have agreed with you less. Cheers to a glorious birthday 🎉🎂🎊 to you dear sis. Thanks for sharing your thoughts ❤️🥰
Wonderfully written, Happy Birthday Sweetheart. You captured the sentiments perfectly. May your blessings rise to meet you. Love you!🥰🥰🥰
Happy Birthday “Sunshine ” I’m so happy to know you and so proud of ypur success. You were amazing when I first met you but this just shows how amazing you truly are. ❤️ Congratulations on your success 🙏💐👏
SO HAPPY FOR YOU. I UNDERSTAND NOW. THE CRUISE IS TO CELEBRATE YOU BIRTHDAY.
MAY PROVIDENCE CONTINUE TO BLESS AND HONOUR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
Inspiring piece!!
I wholeheartedly agree with this!!! I, too believe in celebrating loved ones while they’re still here; even if it’s just a small token of appreciation or gratitude, all gestures don’t have to be grand. People just want & like to know that they’re loved & appreciated.
So true. Happy birthday Eva
Beautiful read…thank you Eva🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿
Good piece indeed sis. Clearly it’s the fact that everyone needs to be celebrated while alive. If we do, then why must we cry at the verge that the dead cannot feel, see or touch? More blessings sis. Please enjoy it’s your day💕💕💕💕
Happy birthday to you and your friend! Here are your flowers 💐 too! God bless you always!!
Eva, I am proud of you and thank GOD for you. As I read this I thought of my husband, who does so much for others and my Maa, who left too soon for me to pamper and celebrate her every day.
I see how you celebrate your family, especially Sister, your mom. Keep up the good work and keep them books coming. Love you!
Well said Dr. Indeed flowers are for the living and not for the dead. I prefer mine while I am still here on earth. I wish you happy birthday. Celebrate for it is your day .
Beautiful piece sis! Happy blessed birthday. May you be celebrated with lots of love and blessings. Enjoy your special day.
This is worth reading by each and everyone especially our African families. Ive always wondered why we cherish celebrating the death instead of celebrating our loved ones while they are still alive. Its a big lesson for us all.
Happy birthday to you, Dr. June!🥰Thank you for all the wonderful work you are doing for Appsa North America.
Happy Birthday Dr. June, thank you for sharing this beautiful piece. May the Lord continue to bless you with good health.
Happy Birthday Eva Diva! This blog is beautifully written and i couldn’t agree more. I hope today is as special as you are. You are celebrated. May you receive your flowers and blessings throughout this journey called life.
Happy birthday Eva. I enjoyed reading this piece. We should indeed give people their flowers while they are here with us.
Thanks for that beautiful message. 😘🙏🏾
Flowers are for the living!!!…Happy birthday.
This is awesome! Indeed, the dead cannot see, smell, or enjoy their flowers—only the living can. That’s why I always say, “Celebrate yourself too,” because if you’re constantly waiting for others to celebrate you, you may end up disappointed.
That said, it is always a blessing and a wonderful feeling to be celebrated and appreciated by others while we are still here to enjoy it.
Happy Blessed Birthday! I hope you had an amazing day filled with joy, love, laughter, and unforgettable memories. Wishing you many more years of good health, happiness, and God’s abundant blessings.
Wonderful piece Eva, we have to be intentional about it . I share in your thoughts. belated happy birthday
This is an excellent write up. The values people see in others must be recognized and appreciated whilst the individual is alive. Let us celebrate the person. The flowers and any citations and fragrances should be showered when the person is alive. To the dead, everything is dead. And therefore everything we is at a dead end. Happy belated birthday to you.