Biblically, historically, and culturally, I’ve read and seen countless references to the younger ones caring for the older generation in their times of need. I believe deeply in that principle — not because I’m growing older myself, but because I take genuine joy in caring for my mother. There’s something sacred about seeing that pure bliss on her face — a quiet blessing that fills my heart. I do it even when it’s hard, because I’ve witnessed the depths of the sacrifices of this woman, my mother — the kind that shaped my life.
And just so no one new to my writing thinks I’m being biased, I did give my father his flowers while he was still on this side of heaven.
Lately, when I look at many in the younger generation, I shudder to think how they will treat their elders. I speak broadly, because what I see often feels like a growing sense of entitlement — one that’s hard to comprehend. Yes, times have changed exponentially, but one thing hasn’t: family love and sacrifice.
Our ancestors made sacrifices too. Nothing new there. Economically, times are harder for the middle class. Parents work longer hours, stretch thinner budgets, and give up personal comforts to ensure their children have better lives than they did. They move into better neighbourhoods for better schools, pay for private education, and postpone their own dreams of enjoying “middle age” in some cases — all out of love and hope that their children will grow into kind, responsible members of their communities. Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don’t. Either way, we can only do our best and leave the rest to God.
The journey of parenting is a roller coaster. Maybe we give too much because we want our children to have what we didn’t. Maybe social media amplifies entitlement. Maybe it’s both. I’ve seen children with little act more entitled than those with plenty — and others, with even less, overflow with gratitude and a desire to lift their parents higher. I applaud those children, though it’s not their responsibility. Gratitude is a language we must all speak.
Children come into this world feeling entitled — we all did. As parents, we give our children almost everything out of love, and their success brings us pride. But in today’s world, even the smallest acts of help seem to require negotiation. It doesn’t matter that the parents simply want to rest or focus on other things. In fact, I’ve heard of children demanding payment for simple tasks their parents ask of them — tasks they’d gladly do for free for clubs, societies or friends. These are children whose needs are met, whose phones are paid for, whose lives are cushioned by love.
Having worked briefly in the financial sector, I do totally believe that children should learn financial responsibility early. But that doesn’t mean they should nickel‑and‑dime their parents to learn it. We didn’t arrive at this culture of entitlement overnight, but perhaps we can begin to shift it — by involving our children in service opportunities with the underprivileged, by helping them see life beyond their own comfort.
As parents, we must also learn financial prudence. We can’t spend our very last on our children alone. We must mind our futures as well as theirs. Make memories. Give them the best. But give yourself the best too.
And above all, remember this: your child was never meant to be your bank. Love them, raise them, guide them — but don’t expect a payout for all the investment you’ve made in them. The reward is in the love you gave and the legacy you leave.
Entitlement is slowly eroding the foundation of gratitude and respect that once defined family life. When our children begin to see love as a transaction and care as negotiable, something sacred is lost. As parents, we do not give because we expect repayment, but because giving is woven into the fabric of love.
We must teach our children that service is not servitude — it’s humanity. Helping at home, showing kindness, and honouring those who paved the way are not chores; they are character lessons. The world will not always pay them for doing what’s right, but it will remember them for how they made others feel.
So, let’s raise children who understand that gratitude enriches the heart, humility strengthens the spirit, and entitlement impoverishes the soul. Because in the end, the truest inheritance we can leave our children is not money or comfort — it’s the wisdom to give without keeping score.
Here’s to wishing all our children an amazing new school year — one filled with gratitude, growth, and grace.
24 Responses
Awesome episode!! Love it. This is the 21st century reality but many are not seeing. It. It’s getting scary by the day when children asks their parents for payment for basic chores.
It’s time Parents think about their own future rather than spending all their time energy and money on their children who may not cared about them like you do to your mom.
I know right! We dared not even think it, how much more ask?
Honor your Father and Mother! That is a direct Commandment. Besides there is no manual on Parenting, pray for guidance and do your part. Be present and be the example, it is not always what you say. It is more what you do. The children are watching. Thank you Dr. June for your perspective. Happy New School Year to our precious ones, the future is pregnant with awesome possibilities.
Thank you for your support.
I have not yet finished reading it due to office pressure today. I have enjoyed the few lines read. I am a victim. I spent almost half of my age taking care of my granny, siblings, dad and mom. I will surely continue.
Well done sweet sist.
Well, I thank you for taking the time sis.
Well done. Keep up the good work.
Thank you, appreciated.
My Dear Dr and Niece,
I’m not just talking about your writing. That is a given. It is now common knowledge. But I also know this because I have read many of them over the years. What’s notable is the depth of your writing, especially in recent years. To merely state the literary joy of reading the blogs does little when judged against the unique place they have come to occupy in this space. You have taken this to a whole new level and are charting a whole new course altogether. In my estimation, priests or pastors can delight in your contemporary theological reflections. Parents and guardians can learn a thing or two. It is wisdom for the old and young, very inclusive narratives, and I envision you and your readership expanding exponentially. Should I go on, this brief comment will overcharge its intent. My prediction? Sooner rather than later, you will be taking on the likes of Ann Landers and M. Scott Peck, to our delight and pride. We thank you. Blessings.
Thank you so much w)fa! I think my head is swollen now, lol. Amen to your prediction, from your mouth to God’s ears. God bless.
Nice! Would’ve liked to see some pictures of your own family though, Dr. June.
Thank you for reading child😘. I did not want anyone mistakenly thinking I was referring to my children, will do so on my next post if it is relevant.
Thanks so much sis. I have been following you sis l joined the 96 year group. These are realities of life we all need to know and learn. God bless you
Thank you for your kind words Doc. God bless you too.
Your blog touches bone and marrow. Your skill and appetite to scrabble all these tail. Thanks for prompting us. Your writing urged me to reflect in reminiscence using my ages to support and still supporting without expected results made me agreed to above commentators that’s caring care of self. Sober reflection gives me joy on my gallant work done! I am glad giving me an opportunity to to express my self continually on your blogs.
Thank you Paul.
Hi Dr June, this is a very thought-provoking piece, and I agree with much of what you are saying about gratitude, service, and the growing tendency to make everything transactional. But knowing some of your past articles I have not responded to before, your article made me think about something slightly deeper—identity. I have been working on these areas lately, and I think this is one area I have delved into.
You speak a lot about sacrifice: the sacrifices of your mother, the sacrifices parents make, the things we give up for our children, and the responsibility of the next generation to appreciate what was done for them. These are all true.
But I wonder whether there is another kind of entitlement we rarely talk about. The entitlement of the sacrificer. Not necessarily, “You owe me money,” but perhaps:
“After everything I have done…” “After everything I sacrificed…”
“I would have expected them to…”
“Surely they should appreciate…”
And suddenly sacrifice, which began as love, can become an invisible account book.
What particularly struck me is that you almost answer this yourself later when you say that a child was never meant to be a parent’s bank and that the reward is in the love given and the legacy left.
I think that may actually be the deepest insight in the whole article.
Perhaps the challenge is not only raising children who are not entitled, but also raising children without building our identity around being *the one who sacrifices*.
Because there is a subtle danger in that identity.
If “I sacrifice for everybody” becomes part of who I believe I am, I may continue over-giving even when I should establish boundaries. I may neglect myself and then resent people for accepting what I freely gave. And I may unconsciously expect gratitude, loyalty or sacrifice in return. Now then the question becomes:
Am I giving because love requires it, or have I become the person who needs to be needed?
And another uncomfortable one: If nobody acknowledged my sacrifice, would I still believe it was worth doing?
I don’t think this weakens your argument about this generation at all. I think it makes it stronger.
Children must learn gratitude.
Parents must teach responsibility.
Families should honour sacrifice.
But perhaps both generations must also learn to love without keeping an emotional ledger.
Your line, “give them the best, but give yourself the best too,” may therefore be more important than it first appears.
Maybe sometimes the answer to entitled children is not more sacrifice.
Maybe it is healthier parents.
OMG Ralph! I should totally make your comment into my next blog, lol. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and sharing your insights as well. God bless.
Great read!
It’s a very important topic of discussion. I personally don’t give my boys an allowance for doing their chores. It is a life skill I am teaching them…..which is to keep the environments they live in clean.
The world has completely shifted into a transactional mindset so much so that kids of today barely understand the importance of giving and gratitude.
Thank you for opening up a forum for discussion.
So so true sis. Gratitude is slowly losing its meaning. Thank you for taking the time😍.
This really spoke to me, Dr. June. Sometimes as parents, in trying to give our children more than we had, we can unintentionally make them feel entitled to everything without realizing it. I especially appreciated the reminder that giving our children the best should also come with teaching them gratitude, responsibility, humility and the value of working for what they have. Such an important and timely reflection. Thank you for sharing this. ❤️
Well, I appreciate you taking the time to read. “Teach them to fish” so they can take care of themselves later, right?
Dr. June ,This piece truly touched my heart. As parents, we give, sacrifice, and pour so much into our children because we love them. But Scripture reminds us that we are also called to teach them gratitude, honor, and responsibility, not entitlement. “Honor your father and mother” (Ephesians 6:2), and “Give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).
As a parent, I’ve had moments when I wanted to make things easier for my children or give them what they asked for. But I’ve now learned that saying “no” can sometimes be an act of love too. Some of the most important lessons I’ve tried to teach are to appreciate what they have, understand sacrifice, and never take someone’s love or generosity for granted.
I’m learning that loving our children doesn’t mean giving them everything they want., it means preparing them to become grateful, responsible, and God-fearing adults. May God give us wisdom to raise grateful hearts, while also reminding us that it’s okay to care for ourselves along the way.
Thank you Dr. June
I love the quotations! Thanks for sharing sis. And yes, “no” is a very important word in our lives.